Happy Friday Y’All

Well here it is May 2021 and I’m still not following my plan.
I probably have more excuses than there are stars in the sky (except I probably use the same ones over and over).

I have actually dropped a lot of them and have settled on “I’m just not in the mood.”

The reality is mood doesn’t matter. Writing matters.

So here I am standing on the edge of another cliff that I created. I dreamed up a new book.

The title is “100 Lousy Short Stories and Poems”. I based it on a number of books I’ve read lately that were published and available in my local library. I am not a “noted” literary critic but I am a reader; the stories sucked, some of them I couldn’t even finish. What that meant to me is that I can either write or write to achieve perfection.

I ain’t perfect so I will write; some of of it will be okay, some of it will suck, some of it will be good, some of it will connect to you (hopefully) and most of it you won’t read anyway.

Here’s the first lousy short story…

Bent and Gnarled Fingers

Early mornings and late days. At the end of the day someone would say “Let’s grab a drink.” I would usually go along. It was easier than going alone.

After a couple of hours we would head out. Some went home. Some went home to a family and supper. Some went out. Me, I went a bunch of different ways depending on my head space. Sometimes it was easy to go home and do the wife, kids, supper thing. Sometimes I had to go for a drink. Sometimes I had to go be alone.

It was hard on my wife and children. My wife and I fought about it but I couldn’t explain it. I needed some of those times to catch my breath and mend my soul.

Today as I look at my bent and gnarled fingers, I feel guilty. I took the easy way out and other people paid the price. I can’t blame them. Today my children hate me.

Being an electrician is hard work but emotionally rewarding when you see what you built or repaired. (As you age the work gets harder.) I liked it because it made me think. I hated it because at the end of the day I couldn’t think or write.

Today I encourage people to enter the trade… but don’t do it because it’s available, like I did, (I couldn’t afford to go to university or college and my marks sucked because I was too lazy to work in high school… boredom is killer for me).

Enter the trade because it is challenging, educational, deals with science, math and physics… electricity is fascinating. Look at buildings, cars, appliances, lighting, solar power and so much more. Man, I love the trade.

As I age I miss it.

I miss taking a set of plans and creating something from blue lines and notes.

I miss getting called out to fix a breakdown and solving the mystery of what happened and how to fix it.

But… I should have found a way to write.

I am older now and looking at my hands, my swollen and tight knuckles, my bent and gnarled finger, I cringe. My swollen, tight knuckles ache when I type too long. My bent and gnarled fingers make it hard to hit the keyboard at times.

Sitting alone, me and a glass of wine but when I write… feeling so satisfied even though no one will read it and it is crap. BUT I AM WRITING!


Copyright 2021. All rights reserved.

Posted May 7, 2021 by Dan Beresford in category "self-discovery", "writing

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